I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
