I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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