can u get pink eye on your cock?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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