Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
