You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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