I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize
