so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
