found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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