I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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