im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
