it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
