This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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