Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
