Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
