genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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