I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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