Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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