do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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