It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
