Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
