hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
