i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize