O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
