Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
