she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
