I just threw up on my dentist
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
