I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
