Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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