16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
