Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
