When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
