I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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