okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
