At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
