just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
