i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
