I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
