He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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