I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
