I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
