So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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