he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
