Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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