I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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