He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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