I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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