I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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