i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
