I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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