dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
