i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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