Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
