hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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