I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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