we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
