You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
