Non-Jews are for practice
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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