We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
