Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
