I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
