Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
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He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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