Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
